When Love Outlives Loss: A Story About a Mother
Some forms of grief are visible. Others are carried quietly for decades.
In this deeply moving episode of Thrivve, we meet Sue—a mother whose love endured separation, unanswered questions and a devastating loss.
Sue became pregnant when she was very young, during a time when unmarried mothers were often given little control over the decisions affecting their lives and their babies. After giving birth, she was not even allowed to hold her son before he was placed for adoption.
She left the hospital with empty arms, but never with an empty heart.
Every year on his birthday, Sue stayed home and lit a candle. She imagined his face, wondered about the person he was becoming and held onto the hope that when he turned eighteen, they might finally meet.
Then the long-awaited letter arrived.
Instead of bringing news of a reunion, it revealed that her son had drowned many years earlier. In a single moment, Sue lost not only her child, but also the future she had imagined for eighteen years.
Her experience reflects what psychologists call disenfranchised grief—grief that may not be openly acknowledged or fully understood by others. Yet grief is not measured by how much time we spent with someone. It is shaped by the depth of our love, our hopes and the place that person held in our hearts.
This episode explores the painful realities of silent grief, regret and self-forgiveness. It also asks what healing can look like when there was no goodbye, no reunion and no opportunity to say the words that had been carried for so long.
Sue’s story reminds us that healing does not mean forgetting. It means learning to carry love without being crushed by the weight of loss. It means treating the person we once were with compassion and recognising that decisions made in difficult circumstances are not always evidence of failure.
If you have lost a child, parent, spouse, friend, relationship or the future you once imagined, this conversation is for you.
Your grief is real.
Your love is real.
Your healing matters.
Love does not end with loss. Sometimes, it simply changes the way it lives within us.
In This Episode
We explore:
- The lifelong grief that can follow adoption and separation
- Why some grief remains hidden or unrecognised
- The emotional impact of waiting for a reunion that never happens
- Why grief should never be compared or ranked
- How guilt and regret can complicate loss
- The role of rituals, remembrance and storytelling in healing
- Why self-forgiveness is not the same as forgetting
- How love can continue after someone is gone
